Sophie Dishman: my life as a young adult carer

I'm Sophie, a journalism student at university. I'm also a young adult carer.

I'm 21 years old, and have been a carer since the age of 11. It all started when grandma fell down the stairs in 2005. She suffered brain damage and was diagnosed with epilepsy and diabetes. I cared for her at weekends - administering medications, making food and doing chores - while my grandad would go out for a few hours for food or to see friends.

The years went on and things became more complex. I ended up caring for other members of my family, including my grandad who had developed dementia and other problems. He became a changed person overnight. No one asked me how I was doing, despite many professionals being involved. No one asked me if I was coping. Most of all, I remember feeling like no one understood what I was going through. In the eight years I cared for my grandma, no one identified me as a carer.

Going to university had been my dream since I was a little girl, so I went for it. I don't regret it, but when I'm at university and away from home it does hurt. I worry about my family a lot. Even though I am not a physical carer during term time, I am still the person at the end of the phone at 3am in the morning. I want to be there for my family, but I know they also want me to pursue my dreams, and so do I. It's one big contradiction that I live with daily.

Being a carer can very isolating. For me, the impact is emotional more than anything. It's heartbreaking watching the ones you love in pain, getting angry and getting upset. I look at my grandparents and often think 'why them?'. I never think 'why me?' though, because I would care for them no matter what. They've cared for me, so I'm doing the same - it's my normal.

Caring can be isolating because a lot people are confused by what carers actually do. Some people confuse us with paid carers, or pity us, which I find really frustrating. Being a carer can be heart-breaking, but it also has lots of benefits. I may have missed out on some of the experiences that people my age have had, but I'm more resilient and mature as a result.

At university the sense of isolation has lifted, and I do feel like there are people I can talk to who understand. There are many people in my class who are carers and this helps a lot. I know I can speak to staff too, if my caring responsibilities are getting on top of me. I'm also working to improve the support for carers, so other carers don't feel alone. I know I'm lucky, but a lot of carers aren't and do still feel very isolated. There is still a long way to go to give carers the support they need.